I don’t know who to blame for the way I feel
I don’t know where to point the finger
Maybe in the mirror Maybe at myself
These days I doubt every emotion that resonates
Every single memory trigger that sends you drifting back
I’ll never understand what kind of life I want to lead
You’ll never understand the type of person I wanted to be.
Things are finally on the upswing. But something is missing. Something is off. My time is occupied but its not constructive. My mind is positive but its not truly happy.
We spent a life time of doing things our own way
Conversing with our own short had vocabulary
Drunk nights in front of the TV set often customary
Even though it ended with you leaving me
I wouldn’t trade our history for anything
While most people at 16 were busy living a stressful life
I couldn’t stop picturing you as my future wife
And those these roads are taking us different places
We may pull over for a beer or six together
We may take a second to reminisce about how we used to blissfully co exist
But in the end its just a drink
In the end your just a friend
We’ll be going home in separate cars
You haven’t been a part of this since September the 6th
Yet when I come across a reminder of you
I can’t help but think of all the things we’ve made it through
Then I blink and realize where those months went
Then I bite my lip and realize what you’ve put me through
And those these roads are taking us different places
I know that no amount of new memories will fill these empty spaces
We may meet in the middle for a cocktail or six
But in the end its just a drink
In the end your just an ex girlfriend
We’ll be going home in separate cars
I’m a kind and sincere soul
Who just happens to have one too many holes in his brain
Spilling out all the thoughts I can’t seem to maintain
Yet all the things I want to forget remain
Who wouldn’t want a picket fence
A house in a quiet town
A quaint aesthetic
A simple existence
Set in motion
To settle
To nest
All destroyed by your indecisiveness
Reset refocus restrain
Burry your emotion
Curve your pain
While your away I remain
Drowning in my thoughts
Cemented in this town
Majority of life to be lived ahead
Yet I’ve already endured the torment of three lifetimes
Pursue anything
Maintain something
Keep a firm grasp on everything that will never last
Even a girl with perfect mental symmetry She’ll never align with me A cautious cancerous being Constantly inflicting distress Continuously getting baggage off my chest You said it was a great fit But you swiftly got sick of it Back and Forth Have and Have not For a brief minute you made the burdens tolerable Yet in the end I became expendable So again I retreat Finding solace in the functions of my right brain While fighting the tendencies of my left brain A victim of my own mental schisms
